SNKTALIA, Chapter 4: Feliciano's pain

Read description, not well-known human name used
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"Hey bro, what's up?"

"Nothing," replied Matthew. "I just wanted to ask you something."

"Hm? Yeah?"

"We'll be signing up for our different divisions in two days, you're sure you're definitely going through with joining the Survey Corps?"

"Yeah, I told you." replied Alfred firmly. "Nothing's gonna change my mind."

"Alright, well you're gonna have to explain that to Arthur in a moment."

"What?"

"I overheard him talking with Kiku a few minutes ago- he knows about your plans."

"Aw, man... is he angry?"

"You think? He was nearly done with unloading food supplies so he'll be looking for you in a few minutes. I told you your inspirational speech last night would reach his ears soon."

"Relax, dude, I've got this. I wasn't planning on hiding it any longer anyway." Suddenly he noticed how his brother didn't seem to be listening, with his gaze cast down to the ground. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing... it's just... it seems like such a waste- you going to the Survey Corps." murmured Matthew. "You're one of the best! You got the chance to choose anything, something so many other trainees wanted so badly but didn't get. Even when you don't want to be you're better than me... I'm hopeless."

"Woah... are you even hearing yourself? I like it better when you're trying to put me down!" exclaimed Alfred, surprised at Matthew's sudden drop in self-confidence. "Matt, the ranking doesn't matter." he continued, gentler than before. "I may be in the top ten but do you know how many times I would've been toast if it weren't for you saving my ass? You've got my back, bro."

"But what if that's all I'll ever be? The weaker sibling sidekick..."

"Fine," sighed Alfred, running a hand through his hair. "I'll admit something to ya. As much as I like relying on my physical strength, I guess it really doesn't make a difference if I make stupid decisions. But you're the exact opposite! Yeah, you fight like my grandma and have the competitiveness of a maple leaf, but you're always the one to keep your head and find a solution to whatever problem we have. You're the most level-headed and stop us from doing stupid things! Trust me, if you put a bit of your passion for hockey into titan- slaying, we'll be invincible!"

"Heh..." chuckled Matthew, finally breaking a smile. "I'm not sure about that, but thanks bro. Anyway... I better get going. Good luck with Arthur!" he called over his shoulder as he turned away.

"W-wait!" sputtered Alfred. "You're leaving me alone with him?"

"I thought you said you've got this?" teased Matthew. "Surely a hero can take it?"

"Part of me is glad you're back to your normal self but the other wants to take all your maple syrup and pour it down the drain."

"Haha, we both know you wouldn't dare."

Once Matthew had left, Alfred headed down the corridor in the opposite direction. Turning the corner, he started as he noticed Arthur marching up the hallway in his direction, his eyes narrowing into venomous slits as he caught sight of Alfred.

"Oh, hey Arthur!" called Alfred, with a bright but rather nervous smile. His greeting didn't seem to lighten Arthur's expression as he half walked, half stomped right up to Alfred.

"What's this about you joining the Survey Corps?" he demanded, his glaring eyes burning into Alfred's own.

"Well..." uttered Alfred, avoiding eye contact. "Exactly what it sounds like..."

"Are you insane?!" screeched Arthur, making Alfred subconsciously take a couple of steps back. "What could possibly make you go and get yourself killed like that?!"

"I-"

"No, I heard about all that heroic nonsense you were spouting last night, and it's just plain ridiculous! And you've got Matt to join you too?!"

"No! Well yes, he's joining but I never wanted him to! He knows the risks and it's his deci-"

"I don't care!" snarled Arthur. "You're making a big mistake and I won't allow it!"

At this, Alfred gritted his teeth and reared up to Arthur.

"What is it with you?" he argued. "I've made my decision and there's nothing you can do to change it! I don't know why you act like it but you're not my parent or superior!"

"How dare you sa-"

"In fact, you're not my brother either, we're not even related!" snapped Alfred, causing Arthur to be the one stepping back. With a lurch Alfred caught a flash of pain in the furiously disbelieving eyes of Arthur, but he shook off the feeling of regret that churned in his stomach. "You always think you're right and that you can tell me what to do but you're wrong! So stay out of my way, will you?"

Without a second glance, he pushed past Arthur, who strangely didn't object, and stormed off, leaving the previously infuriated trainee standing in an ominous silence. While Alfred was stalking through the corridors, a shrill cry sounded from one of the open doors in the hallway. Recognising it as Feliciano's, he rushed out to see that nearly the whole courtyard had turned its ears to Ludwig, Kiku and Feliciano. The usually carefree and upbeat Italian was now standing with his head hung, trembling as he tried to stop the tears welling up in his eyes.

"I... I lied to you all this time..." he stammered, stumbling over his words in distress. "I'm not from W-Wall Rose... Lovi and I used to live with G-grandpa Roma in Sh-Shiganshina..."

Gasps of horror escaped the mouths of most of the trainees listening in the courtyard as his hometown was revealed to be the very place the titans had attacked and destroyed five years ago.

"I was with my friend Severin when the... when the titans attacked..."

"Woah, your picture's really good!" awed Severin, a young blue-eyed boy with blonde hair, as he gazed at the picture Feliciano had drawn in his little sketchbook.

"Grazie!" beamed Feliciano. "You're getting better too!"

"It's not as good as yours..." replied Severin modestly as he put his drawing down, then looked back to the beautiful landscape in Feliciano's drawing."That place looks really nice, without any ugly walls. I wish I was there!"

"Yeah, me too..." sighed Feliciano wistfully, then picked up his friend's drawing, curiously cocking his head as he examined the person in the picture. "And who's that?"

"Well..." mumbled Severin, rather embarrassed. "It was supposed to be you..."

"Oh, now I see!" grinned Feliciano. "It looks-"

He was cut off as a flock of birds perched around the buildings nearby suddenly took off, squawking as if they had all been spooked by the same thing. A few seconds later, Feliciano felt the ground quaking beneath them: a slow, steady pattern of tremors that caused a hustle among panicked villagers at first, but then a tense silence as everyone stood and listened to the strange rumbling in anticipation.

"What's going on?!" whimpered Feliciano. "Is it an earthquake?"

"I- I don't know!" replied Severin uncertainly. "It seems different but it might not be anything to worry a-"

"Look! Over there!" came a cry from a crowd of people that had gathered outside their houses, who had now shifted their gaze to stare at the surrounding wall. Doing the same, an icy dread paralysed Feliciano as he saw what everyone was gaping at: what seemed like a giant hand clenched the believably indestructible stone, causing it to crack and crumble under the sheer force exerted on it. The owner of the hand reared it's head- a monstrous, nearly skinless face rose above the towering wall, its menacing eyes scouring across the horrified and disbelieving faces of the people, who suddenly resembled caged, helpless animals.

"It's a titan!"

"But the wall is 50 metres tall!"

"What's it doing here?"

Cries of confusion and fear echoed through the streets as the titan reared back again. A few seconds later, part of the wall exploded into pieces. Giant boulders of wall material rained down like a meteor shower, destroying houses and crushing civilians. Screams of terror and pain sounded everywhere as the smoke and dust cleared to reveal the wall, which for an entire century guaranteed safety for those behind it, but now had a huge, gaping hole where the gate used to be.

"Feli, we've gotta get out of here!" urged Severin, grabbing Feliciano's hand and pulling him out of his state of petrification.

His throat suddenly tight with fear and unable to speak, Feliciano instinctively followed Severin, racing through the streets and chaotic crowds with him as fast as possible.

"Wait, mum was sick at home!" exclaimed Severin, halting at a road, which led to several destroyed houses. "I've got to make sure she's OK!"

"No, wait!" begged Feliciano, grabbing his friend's arm, only to have it snatched back as he began to run down the road, still calling out to Feliciano.

"I have to find her and dad! Go get help!"

"I'm... I'm scared!"

"Don't worry, just go and find your family! I'll meet you at the boats!"

"P-promise?" sniffed Feliciano, holding out his little finger. With a sigh, Severin took a few steps back, hooking his around Feliciano's as part of the pinky promise they had often done before.

"Promise." he replied, smiling bravely despite his shaking voice. "I promise I'll come back!"

"I ran as fast as I could and got a soldier to find and help him, then I found Lovi and Grandpa Roma, who took us to the boats outside Shiganshina."

"What... what about Severin?" whispered Ludwig, chipping at the silence that had fallen on the courtyard.

"... He... he didn't come back. No matter how much I waited and searched for him and his family at the boats and at Wall Rose... I never found him." Ludwig shuddered as he tried to imagine what losing a friend to such a terrible fate must have been like for Feliciano, and how he had managed to hide the trauma of that day behind a mask of blissful carelessness. "Afterwards, Grandpa Roma was sent on the mission to regain Wall Maria and he didn't... he didn't come back either. Lovi and I joined the military to try and get a better life in the interior."

"Feliciano... I'm sorry..."

"W-when we boarded the ship, the titans had already entered the town... I saw how they... how they picked people up and...and..." Unable to finish his sentence, Feliciano began shaking again, yet flinched away when Ludwig tried to lay a hand on his shoulder. "I don't want you to see the same thing, I don't want any of you to ever have to face a titan! All they do is destroy and there's nothing we can do about it... please... please don't join the Survey Corps! Don't!"

With that, the young trainee fled the courtyard, tears streaming down his face.

"Feliciano!" called Ludwig, then rushed out as well after a moment of bewilderment, leaving the rest of the courtyard in a grim silence.

"What's going on here?" Lovino's agitated voice sounded from the other side of the courtyard as he entered, flanked by Antonio. "What's wrong with Feliciano? And what are you all here for? I bet this is all potato- bastard's fault, I know it!"

"Lovino." uttered Kiku calmly. The hot- headed trainee silenced, but the tint of sympathy and sadness in Kiku's voice gave rise to a sense of worry within him. "Feliciano, he... he told us about what happened on the day Wall Maria was lost. About what happened to Severin and your grandfather..."

"He told you... that idiot..." grumbled Lovino, though the observant Kiku noticed his clenched fists tremble slightly.

"I'm sorry if I-"

"No, no it's fine." It was Antonio who replied. "They stayed with us after Wall Maria fell, and I remember it took a long time for Feli to recover... well, as much as you can recover from something like that, so it's best we don't bring it up again around him."

By now, the courtyard had mostly emptied. Alfred still stood near the door, deep in thought about what he had just heard. As he turned to leave, he noticed Arthur standing by the doorway, glaring at him bitterly.

"You see?" he motioned towards Lovino and the others. "You heard what Feliciano said- that's what awaits you if you join the Survey Corps. You're just throwing your life away."